Friday, March 20, 2009

My Micro professor

In the fall, when I had just started class in Beirut, I had registered for Microeconomics. As it happened, it was my first class of the semester, and I was ominously excited.

So I walk in 5 minutes before the class was supposed to start, took a seat in the 3rd row, and looked around. The professor was a thirty some woman, with very pale skin, long straight black hair, entirely dressed in black. So I called her Morticia Addams.

Weird. That's the only word I would use to describe Morticia's habits. First of all, she always turned off the lights at the front of the class, because she said the light didn't agree with her complexion. Therefore one half of the class was always plunged in semi-darkness. Also, when the class starts, she locked the doors so the late students can't come in and she would rejoice in scratching their names off her attendance list. And she had a very heavy Lebanese accent, almost Russian. It was weird.

Anyways, for a month the class went as normal. Her teaching methods were nothing short of crappy, but it was the only Micro class that fit in my schedule, so I stuck with it.

One day, she shows up in some kind of futuristic black latex/spandex suit, complete with platform shoes 5 inches high. Every step she took made a squeaky sound, as new shoes sometimes do. There was, however, an unexpected element in these shoes.

She goes to the board, turns on her heels in her signature move, and a sound comes out:

She turns back to us, slowly, and says:
"I know some people have phone mobile that make fart sound. Give to me now."

Obviously, none of us said anything.

So once again, she turns on her heels, beckoning the sound again:
"proooouuuut" coming from her shoes.

She turns back to us:
"Listen, I know I am teacher, but I am also friend. If who have phone mobile give to me now, maybe I not destroy it when I go to my home"

I know what you're thinking. Outright laugh out loud, right? No.
Remember, we were locked in a room with a psycho-b***h wearing latex shoes that make farting noises on the floor. So no, we didn't say a thing.

It was a horrible experience.

In retrospect I think she got her PhD by plugging her Arabic thesis into Google translate, it's the only thing that makes sense. Figures.


  1. HAHA!!!!!!!! eric i love this blog.
    I have another one for you:
    remember u told me about this guest teacher who was a jewish fanatic? he gave you the looks in class? i can't really remember, but it's still content :)

  2. Haha! I really enjoy reading your stories Eric!